Is Your Spouse Too Needy? Looking For Relationship Problem Advice?

Is your spouse or maybe another close relation driving you nuts with their neediness?

You love them, but you don’t love being sucked dry?

Even healthy relationships have their challenges.

The relationship problem advice you are seeking might give you as much insight into your own neediness as your spouse’s.

The source of neediness within a relationship lies with the “inner-child” needs and issues of both parties.

Both your inner child and their’s need to be considered to discover creative ways to nurture your relationship and satisfy that needy feeling.

In case you don’t know this about me, I’m a parenting instructor as well as a health coach.  When I get the chance, I teach Redirecting Children’s Behavior.

Whether I teach it in a classroom or over the fence to the neighbor, I’ve seen this powerful information change lives!

Understanding why your children do what they do is empowering all by itself.  Teaching them to meet their own needs empowers them and satisfies that needy feeling.

Redirecting Behavior starts with nurturing yourself and making sure your “bank” is full.  Then it is important to nurture all the important relationships in your life by making deposits in the “bank” of the one you love, more often than you withdraw from it!

When dealing with adults it is easy to see how nurturing their inner child will get you a whole lot further than arguing with them.

In the case of self sabotage, the answers lie within.  The answers lie with YOUR inner child.

Want to understand the inner child that’s driving you nuts?

If you are self sabotaging, or your needy spouse is mis-behaving you need to understand what might be the underlying goal of the behavior.

The first sign that this is an issue is probably going to be your irritation with yourself and/or others.

When you feel irritated, ask yourself which of the mistaken goals below might be the issue. Read more

Can You Trust Your Community For Help With Symptoms of Depression?

Recently I had the opportunity to reflect on a very difficult health crisis and how it effected my family.

I was sorting paper work, getting rid of clutter and cherishing wonderful memories and keep sakes as I discovered them among the chaos.

One tattered piece of paper I opened as I was filing, was a writing exercise that my oldest daughter had written  several months after my recovery.

Looking back, I realize that I was unaware how deeply the incident had effected her.  Briana is usually very good at expressing her emotions, but I’m sure she was trying to “take care of mom”, and didn’t want to worry me with her anxiety.

The whole ordeal took a lot out of me.   Life was kinda foggy for me at the time.  I was doing all I could just to get back on my feet, and I wasn’t even recognizing my own symptoms of depression.

It makes me a little sad that I wasn’t there for her, but I’m so glad that she was able to express those feelings right there in her creative writing class almost a year later.

In 2005, at the end of March, my baby brother was born.

Just a bundle of velvet skin.

I was so anxious that something might happen to my mom, but everything was fine.

A few months later, I was alarmed and frightened to see my mother’s neck slowly blow up like a balloon.

Soon it looked like a red rock sticking out of her neck.

It was scary.

She went to the doctor, and they put her in the hospital.  When that happened, Read more

How Can a Goal Setting Worksheet Heal Your Symptoms of Depression?

Can you be depressed and not know it?

We talked yesterday about how setting goals is the best way to recognize your greatness, and how meeting with like minds is the best way to ensure consistent action toward your goals.

Sometimes you can’t see what is getting in your way!

The Mastermind Team can “hear what you really want” and they can see what you can’t.

One of my very first mastermind team mates changed her life after the mastermind group helped her shine a light on her symptoms of depression!

I used to mastermind with a group of ladies at the gym, way back before I called it Masterminding.  We would sit on the floor in the aerobics room, surrounded by mirrors and stretch ourselves from head to toe.

(Of course today I would ONLY stretch like that AFTER a workout, but that’s another story.)

It was so encouraging to see their familiar faces each Monday, Wednesday and Friday … same time, same place.  The wonderful life lessons shared and heart warming stories enjoyed by the group have stayed with me over the years.

Joy was a beautiful woman who was always sharing  fitness resources.  She would bring the group the newest lifting techniques and philosophies, which would often spark debate.  Joy was a walking talking advertisement for the nutritional supplement that she swore by.

Yet Joy didn’t have much Joy.

One morning as the ladies gathered, Joy began sharing her heartache over losing her mother. Read more

How Do You Heal From Emotional Abuse?

Ever have your heart ripped out and handed to you with a smile?

Recently I have gone through some really disappointing situations.

Several people that I admire, and people that I count on have really let me down in just the past week.

When people shock you, does it mean that you never really knew them, or did they change?

In the case of co-workers and more casual acquaintances, odds are that you just never saw the ugliness underneath.  You weren’t close enough to get spattered with it, anyway.

If you haven’t known someone long enough to see them go through hard times, then you really don’t know what’s inside of them.

When life applys pressure, what is within is squished out!

Sometimes when people show you their dark side, you are forced to put more distance between you.

Just because you love someone is no reason to allow yourself to be abused, physically or emotionally.

Finding a way to put distance between you and an abusive person is actually the kindest thing that you can do for them, as well as for yourself.

When there is distance you can find peace, and send positive healing energy their way.

Without distance, your relationship will deteriorate to hatred anyway.

There is probably an underlying issue that causes them to be so abusive, but it will not help them, and it will hurt you, to subject yourself to their abuse.

To fix this type of abusive relationship, you need distance and faith.

Is an abusive person worthy of your love and loyalty?

Can they change? Read more

Is All This Cleansing Really Going To Help My Emotional Health?

“Help! I’m buried in spring cleaning!”

Are you having trouble finding your way out of the mess you created trying to get your spring cleaning done?

“Guilty as charged!”

When you pass through a transition in your life, sometimes the cleaning is so bitter sweet that it stirs up your world physically, mentally and spiritually.

I want to encourage you to keep on pushing through the mess until you bring your home the harmony that you deserve.

When you pull out all the assorted accumulation from the past, you may find that you can’t just toss it away and move on.

People make a living out of helping others get organized because it is a challenging thing to do for those who aren’t.

If you are highly efficient and organized, then I salute you!

However, if you are experiencing overwhelm with your internal and external cleansing, you need to start from your bedroom and work your way out.

When the first and last thing you see every day is clean and organized, the rest of your life will become more clean and organized.

Give it a try.

I used to dump everything that piled up into my bedroom and close the door.   Every couple of weeks I’d deal with it, but when life got hard… my bedroom was buried.

A good friend told me the secret of “cleaning up the first and last view you see everyday to improve your life”, so I just had to try the theory out.

I give my testimony here that the cleaner my room is the clearer my focus and my productivity are.

Why should you care about cleanliness?

I mean you wouldn’t want to smell, so you shower everyday, but the house work just never stops and is always going to be there, right?

Is there really any health benefit to spring cleaning?

How in the world can pulling everything out of the closet and making a bigger mess possibly help?!

For years I felt that spring cleaning was a waste of time.  Heck, spring cleaning was a dirty word!

This spring, I am embracing the season with a thorough purging of things un-needed.

At 44, with my daughters giving me teenage challenges and my little 4 year old boy struggling to get a word in edge wise, spring cleaning stirred up the realization that I have passed into a new chapter in my life.

Usually any kind of cleaning in my house is removing dust and returning boxes to their storage spots.

This year I feel a need to pull all that “stuff” out of the boxes and see if I truly need to keep holding on to it.

The process brought up many old memories that I would rather not remember.  It made me realize that I still harbor anger over events that happened a long time ago.

Not that anyone else would notice them…

but none the less, the anger lies under everything in your life, poisoning your happiness.

My anger is more irritation than rage, but when the “old stuff” reminded me of events from the past, and old anger surfaced, I was very aware that I had just released energy that had been harming me.

My light mood in the past week has been a constant reminder of the huge benefits gained from stirring up old feelings and releasing them all over again.  It wasn’t the first time, and it probably won’t be the last.

Every time you cause old emotions to surface so that you can release them, or immediately release your emotions so that they don’t become trapped within you…… you improve your emotional health.

Emotional health is one of the biggest contributors to quality of life that you will possibly find. Read more

Can Symptoms Of Depression Lead To An Emotional Storm Of Healing?

Depression reminds me of a slow drizzle on a gray day.

Doesn’t depression even feel like a slow drizzle?

I mean it isn’t something you would associate with a down pour.

Depression is more like an endless gloomy day.

__________

We have had an unusual number of gray drizzly days.  Every time I look out my window I feel a bit depressed.

When I get out in the drizzle, I pull my coat around me tightly and hurry through my daily walk.

Well today, I looked up at the sky from my desk and wondered what kind of a walk I would have today.

Intermittent clouds threatened to make it soggy, and after the pounding rains last night, I wondered if I might need an umbrella.

By the time I put my shoes on and leashed up the dogs, it looked like the sun was going to shine down on us.

We hit the road with the cool trade winds blowing a light drizzle in our faces, and the sun warming our backs.

Right away I was struck by the loud sound of flowing water from a stream that had accumulated where there isn’t normally a stream.

“What a treat!”

Just the sound seemed to wash away my dark mood.

When we reached a part of the road where the flowing water traveled through the tall grass and splashed down small unseen water falls, it seemed like the sound was all around us.

The little stream that runs beside our daily walk had come to life during the down pour last night.

Where the new road is being plowed at the end of the pavement, there was glistening beauty, and sparkling playful waterfalls where the bare earth lie exposed yesterday.

I took the time to be still and breathe in the wonderful peaceful feeling the stream had created.

The flowing water seemed to have made the world pure and clean again.

My light mood was a gift from the storm.

__________

Your symptoms of depression really can give way to an emotional storm that can wash away the wounds of the past if you allow it.

Mother Nature’s dramatic storm had washed the world clean.  When you let your emotions RIP… they are capable of washing YOU clean.

Powerful emotions move you!

Whether it is excitement or intense grief, the shear power of the emotion can be felt in your gut, and often causes you to feel like if you don’t move or make some kinda noise, you will just burst.  Powerful emotions get your juices flowing.  If you need professional help to handle it, then get it for yourself.

Intense emotion MUST be expressed!

If you suppress an intense emotion you can feel it rot your gut and climb up your throat.

If you get the message, when you are very young, that it is not okay to express unpleasant emotions, then you develop the habit of stuffing your emotions.

Stuffing your emotions will cause you much suffering.

Emotions are our spiritual compass.  They are meant to give direction in the moment they arise.

It is your choice to follow the direction your emotions point you, or consistently release and ignore them.

When you choose to deny an emotion you prevent the release of that energy.

Emotions become trapped inside you.

Your emotions are not meant to be held!  They must find expression.

Trapped emotions can’t be released until you find stillness.

Bringing stillness to your thoughts and physical senses will create free flowing fluid movement internally.

Once you free hardened, crystallized emotion, resisting it will trap it within your body once again.

Just feel it and release it.

(It is your responsibility to express your angry feelings in private where you will not harm anyone else.)

Emotional Facts You Should Know Read more

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